Raising Gavin

Funnies

2011-08-28T20:48:00.000-07:00

Gavin: Dad, can you get me the dancing popcorn in my backpack?
Dan: After your nap.
Gavin: Can you cuddle me (blurb bleeb blab Grandma and Grandpa and trains beep boof blarn)
Dan: Good night, Gavin.
Gavin: Can you cuddle me for seventeen minutes?

Kate: (peeing)
Gavin: (bursts in bathroom) Hey mom... pee or poop?
Kate: Just pee.
Gavin: (taken back) Ummm. WHERE'S YOUR PENIS?
Kate: Oh, mine's called a vagina. I don't have a penis.
Gavin: (thinks it over) Oh. I have a penis.
Kate: (gets up to pull up pants)
Gavin: (gets down under me, angles face up) Hold still mom. I want to see it.

Next day:
Kate: (getting out of shower)
Gavin: You don't have a penis.
Kate: You're right.
Gavin: Yeah. You have hair.

Click

2011-07-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

There's this Adam Sandler movie, called Click. He's a workaholic and gets a special remote that enables him to fast forward events in his life that he doesn't care about or care for. Of course, all movies have a little bit of a problem, so the problem becomes the remote. Like Tivo, it assumes that he likes or dislikes this event or that event, and snap! Before you know it, he's old and he has missed his life. I have a sense of that at the ripe old age of 34.

I have a wistful recollection of the 20s that I spent working overtime, trying to be something and somebody. I didn't enjoy life. I barely liked myself - I couldn't stand most others. It's quite sad, actually. I once was so upset about something that didn't/doesn't/won't ever matter that my mom tried to convince me to just go lay in the back yard and stare up at the trees and just be for a while. Needless to say, I didn't/couldn't/wouldn't. Not that I had seen that movie yet (it came out when I was 30), but I sure behaved like Adam Sandler's character. I tolerated every day. I didn't want to go to work * I didn't want to go home * I didn't want to clean the house * I didn't want to get gas for the car * I didn't want to go grocery shopping * I didn't want to make a date with friends * Oh.My.Goodness.You.Name.It.And.I.Didn't.Want.To.Do.It. Period. No matter fun or not - I would have fast forwarded my entire life.

!!! Flash Forward to my 30s !!!

I swear. I know that movie got terrible ratings but wow, it got me thinking. Although I don't have a universal remote to fast forward the heinous parts of my life, like the #2 associated with potty training (help me) or the throw-up-on-your-clean-shirt factor that is being a baby's mom (Murphy's Law is a bitch), I have certainly noticed that you can put yourself on fast forward without realizing you're doing it. Living in the moment is actually hard. It's easy to live for the weekend - just close your eyes and survive until something else is in front of you or all around you. I didn't know in my 20s how much that means you'll miss out on.

Gavin is growing up insanely fast. Out of nowhere, he knows his letters and he decided to start peeing in the potty. He jokes, he speaks in some sophisticated sentences, and we can carry on a conversation, like the one about good choices and bad choices just tonight at bedtime snuggles. So of course, since he is growing up so fast, I have lived more consciously and feel like I've been an even better observer to Kajsa's life thus far. I try not to hustle/bustle through my day as much anymore. I try to enjoy the small items in life that make a life a life.

My neighbor loaned me a book called Hand Wash Cold. I think I wasn't in the "reading place" when I tried to read it at first. I'm hoping to try again. There's a thought in there that your life is comprised of all of these little things, the things that Adam Sandler's character might have fast forwarded through. Doing the laundry, the dishes, the shopping, the planning, wiping up the throw up, cleaning the #2 out of the Thomas sheets... these things are our lives. Our life isn't defined by the spaces in between. All parts whether they are "enjoyable" or not (""quotes because of an Aha! moment I recently had, which got me thinking about the movie, which got me wanting to share it...) make up our life.

I decided to be "that reader" and try to come up with items I just really cannot stand. Things in my life that I just have no choice but to be hateful about. And the truth is, there's nothing. There's always something to be grateful for. I don't like to do the dishes. But at least I have a machine. And I just love Gavin's robot dishes, so that sort of cheers me. I love that Kajsa isn't exclusively breastfeeding anymore and eats so much so I have a little "awww" when I clean her dishes. My brother offered to unload the dishes as part of his nanny job with our family, so every time I unload I think about how grateful I am for a terrific brother, who realizes how little I like doing the dishes. So then darn it, can't be hateful about that.

OK, taking the kids in the car. Secretly, I hate HATE taking the kids somewhere by myself. So I set out to prove that nothing good can come of it. It's hard to strap two kids in and not have one get lost/rained on/slide out of the seat/crawl up front to drive... I sweat bullets when I take the kids somewhere alone. Gavin inevitably throws fits. I always lack something in the diaper bag - someone will BLOW UP! while we're out because I forgot the sippy, binky, diaper, wipes, formula, omg, you name it, I've forgotten it. So we go to Target to eat popcorn. Kajsa flirts with a family eating at the food court who can't stop telling me how cute she is (let's face it, that doesn't get old). Gavin tells a wandering waddler NOT to follow us and then mentions "He can't find his mommy!" with genuine concern. Kajsa kicks up a storm when she makes eye contact with people and she totally makes people smile. Gavin tells her "itsokitsokitsokitsok" when she cries in the car. Kajsa eats a baby food and no one freaks out. Gavin is trying out "I promise!" when it doesn't fit, so the end result is funny and random. OK so then damn, can't hate taking the kids somewhere by myself.

The truth is, nothing in my life with kids is worth fast forwarding. In fact, if I try to consciously do just the opposite, I am finding a lot of success in noting details that I wouldn't have otherwise noticed. Kajsa's turquoise bathing suit today. The small size of her arm holes in the swim shirt she wore. Gavin's curls behind his ears. Watching Gavin rub Zoya's head. Isis' gorgeous blue eyes. Zoya's relaxed pool 'tude. Melissa's gorgeous hair colors in the sun. The clovers that grabbed Kajsa's attention. How carefully Gavin shared his cookie with Zoya. The brilliant green of the leaves on the trees near the wading pool. There was actually so much to see! It's applicable to us texting moms, the stay-at-home folks for whom the job can get a little monotonous, and those of us who previously wanted that fast forward option for tedious times. I think my memories of today will be richer because I sat on the rooftop playground floor and played with Kajsa, because I sat and observed how my kids play, because I wasn't thinking of the next thing to get to. There was nothing wrong with this current moment.

It's a pretty silly movie to feel so profound. Gavin's (almost) 3 years passes in an absolute s*n*a*p. It's scary and horrible. It's going fast enough already. No need to fast forward. It's a great movie. You should check it out.

One hour to myself

2011-05-04T20:54:00.001-07:00

Umm. Do you see it too? I see a cute kid with a ladybug on her forehead. She has cute pjs. Her mom has too much hair these days. Yeah, the mom loves the baby. But wait, look again at that mom's hair. That is too much gray for a 34 year old. I gasped when I saw this picture. I had no idea my hair was that gray. Good grief.

But let's see. I shower once or twice a week. I take a toddler/infant bath with the kids because we think maybe the bumbo wasn't supposed to go in the bath after all (sorry Tayla, I guess I owe you a bumbo chair?). I wash my hair exactly once a week. I haven't had a pedicure since last summer (8 months ago) and haven't dyed my hair since before getting pregnant with Gavin. JHC, that is 40 months ago, now.

I look in the mirror and I see one big brow. My teeth need attention. I'm getting smile lines. My furrowed brow look that can manage a classroom without a sound has left a big vertical jag in my monobrow. I don't know what looks better - one brow or this deep crevasse. My clothes don't fit, and those that do are covered in sluggy snot trails of my snot nosed kids. I haven't had a night of sleep in about 3 months. My mattress is horrible and I prefer to sleep on the couch. My C section scar hurts and it's ugly as hell (my first C sect scar was lovely). I sound like I've got my BiTcH on but really, it's just the exterior of the woman I see in the mirror every time I see a mirror outside my own crappy seahorse-tiled bathroom with almost no lighting. I can't see a thing in there, so any other mirror in life shows me the suit of motherhood.

But it's not how I feel.

I'm tired but I'm grateful. I look worn out but I'm so happy. My skin isn't what I want it to be but I'm so grateful for health. I don't want all these grays but I'm glad I still have hair and that I'm finally at peace with the curls. The C section is ugly but the kids are lovely. The clothes don't fit but there are stores full of more until I'm ready to fit into the old clothes.

It's so odd to see how poorly the outside of me matches the insides.

I am glad it's not the other way around. That's how I felt after my first pregnancy. PPD really destroyed my ability to make peace with myself inside, though the pictures make my journey look wonderful. It wasn't. (It wasn't blog fodder, so I'm sure you won't see any on the archives here...) I have confidence in my parenting and I truly enjoy every single minute now. But now about this haggard look...

1. What to do with my hair length? It's long and I like it long but Gavin keeps handing fallen hairs back to me saying "Here you go, Mommy." They're everywhere. They're too annoying. It gets ratty. It's harder to style than shorter hair. Am I too old for long hair? Was my shorter hair cuter?

2. Color. Worth it? I was going for health of the babies by not coloring during pregnancy and in between kids, I decided to try to grow out the big white/gray patch to rock the salt and pepper look. I'm not sure I own it. But I'm far too lazy to stay current on color, even home color. I'm also a dirty hippie and cheap. Thoughts? Is it that bad?

I'm a big girl. I can handle it.

So about this one hour to myself. I have been putting in some overtime at work (compensated, boo ya!) and it culminated with a presentation last night. When I got home, I couldn't sleep so I was checking work email (problem #1) and saw a template our boss wanted us to fill out for our annual self reflection. (A whole problem in itself, I guess problem #2). I thought "well, why not just do it now?" (Yep, #3) and stayed up late finishing it. So then of course I got all fired up about next year and how to get better at my job (Is that #4?). So then I really couldn't sleep. After emailing my boss the document, I realized her email said that we were going to work on it during the morning staff meeting this morning. I lost track of the problem numbers.

The huh? The what? The morning staff meeting? Well that means that I can do the other stuff in the afternoon since the nanny stays till 5 on Wednesdays so I can attend meetings. Holy shit, I don't have any work to catch up. That means I'm homefree at 3:40 and off of life's clock till 5.

That's the end of the problems, people.

I hitchhiked home with some neighbors and by the time I sat down on the couch, iPhone in hand, ready to good old fashioned waste some time, I saw I had exactly 73 minutes. I assumed that the nanny and the kids were napping in the bedroom so I snuck back there to tell him I was home (so I wouldn't freak anyone out) and ohdeargodinheaven, they weren't even here. No hummus on my sweater, be nice to your sister, I just fed you, whose diaper is poopy? Time to fart around online.

What's new on facebook? What funny links did my friends share? Lynnae sent Andrea something that sounded funny. OK let's check that out. http://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/2011/04/five-universal-laws-of-mornings.html
I got the giggles and realized I was tearing up. I was so relieved that someone else felt this way! I started just clicking on other posts. I was home alone, laughing outloud, reading post after post for 53 of my 73 minutes of freedom. I had to get up to blow my nose twice because of all the laugh-so-hard-I-cried cryin. I haven't laughed like that for a long, long time. Felt great. 3 times I just had to sit and contemplate the writing on that site. OhMyGoD, so frackin funny. Then I'd just recall one line and repeat it - aloud - to myself, just sending me into fits again.

No one was peeing on me, spitting on their sister, throwing their shit on the floor, shouting at me "I WANT A ELMO COOKIE RIIIIGHT NOOOOOW!!!" (Seriously, Gavin?), or asking me where the mother flippin' spatula is.

And then it hit me. I'm cracking up. I can't remember what back health feels like, from lugging around a big child. I haven't slept 5 hours straight in 100 days. I never ever get 60 or 73 minutes to myself. And that's the thing about mothering. We're not supposed to mind that. We feel guilty and worry about the kids when we do take time for ourselves. We think we're not supposed to need something. And that's not fair. And if the kids aren't here, I'm sure occupied with cleaning up after them and making sure everyone has what they need.

A car isn't guilty for needing gas.

And I'm out. But a 73 minute charge (53 online, cracking up to witty mommentary + a 20 minute catnap) was a nice start.

Sister!

2010-08-23T09:41:00.000-07:00

Summer vacation without Mom!? That's crazy! That's Gavin's summer this year. Yesterday, 8/23 is the day I was supposed to head back to work for a week-long training. Back in June, when I was cleaning out the classroom, two months ago, that seemed like it would take forever! But here we are, two months of contractions, 28 days of restricted activities, and on day 34 of bedrest. On Gavin's and my Summer of Fun Calendar, we were set to go to Charlotte's Web today at the Family Fun Film Festival at the Northgate cinemas. Instead, Gavin faithfully puts on his shoes every day, kisses me, tells me "love-a-you" and walks to the door shouting, "BYE! BYE! BYE!" to leave with different friends and family every day on fun and exciting play dates. He is a champ - up for any adventure at a moment's notice. I'm missing all of it!

I guess Gavin's Sister and my faulty uterus have big plans for me.

Today I got four bits of bad news: news that made me unhappy and made my doctor harder to read than usual. I think she is sensitive to how much the good and bad news impact me, so although she prides herself on very direct communication, I believe she tempers it for me somewhat. We do see one another 2-3 times per week and have for about 6 weeks now. She said a few reassuring words but concluded the appointment by reminding me my "call the hospital" limits. That, as a patient, feels very different than wrapping up an appointment with just a smile and a "See you on Friday!"

So here's what we discovered today via my 19th ultrasound in two months:

1. The amniotic fluid, on my 14th day of Ibuprofen (the "ace" drug to keep preterm labor patients pregnant) has lowered to a point of almost too low - cut almost in half since the last scan. The implication of this news is that we might have to discontinue the Ibuprofen on Friday. It's the drug that *seeeeeeems* to have been the drug that has kept me out of the hospital for the last 15 days (which my wallet doesn't mind - the bills are flooding in) and kept the contractions at fewer than 4 per hour, my limit.

2. The cervical length is shorter. It can lengthen and shorten, but the trend over the last 10 days seems to show that shorter is the new length. My doctor is happy with anything over 2 cm, so 2.7 is technically fine, but 4 days ago it was 3.3 and a month ago it was closer to 4. I realize we are talking about millimeter changes, but when it changes a few mm per day, and I'm 7 mm from the unsafe, check into the Childbirth Center zone, those little mm don't seem so insignificant anymore.

3. There is some "beaking" now at the bottom of the amniotic sac/top of the cervix. What we are supposed to see is a big, round shape at the bottom of the uterus, at the opening of the cervix. What we saw today was a little triangle of the amniotic sac, "beaking" into the cervix. It really does look like a bird's beak. I have questions that (of course) I thought of on the drive home like "Can beaking fix itself?" and "How quickly can/does a beak cause the amniotic sac to break?" so to those I have no answers. My understanding is that the pressure of the bag of water on the beak and the cervix acts to pry it further open.

4. This is the news the doctor called me with when I got home from the appointment. The drugs and my naturally occurring hormones have wreaked havoc on my body's glucose levels and my insulin's ability to get the glucose processed. So I've been on a diabetic diet for 2 weeks now, watching my first-thing-in-the-morning glucose levels in particular. The post-food numbers are terrific but the wake-up numbers are still too high (because of the drugs and the gestational diabetes). So starting asap, I have to start injecting insulin in the evenings. This does not make me happy.

I know in a year (or hopefully 13 or 14 months) I'll be planning a birthday party for a cute and sweet one year old, but for right now, it's scary and I'm worried. I'm exhausted from the day-to-day changes and new findings when I don't expect them - ie, when we're exchanging small talk during the ultrasound and the doctor says "Oh, the fluid is way down today." It's hard not to know if she'll be born in August (still a possibility, although shrinking), September (my guess), October (my OB thinks she'll almost certainly be out *by* early October), or November (her actual due date). That's 4 different birthstones as I'm shopping for my slice/push present. And I'll leave it right there! Updates on Friday or as they happen. Thanks for your interest in our family's well-being.

Happy Family!

2010-07-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

LOTS to be thankful for, this summer, for the Sipe/Berglunds. Baby Sister Berglund is following closely in her brother's footsteps. She's trying to bust her way out early, just like Mr. Gavin did. OK... to be fair, it's not her fault. It's a really faulty uterus! It's not a very hospitable environment in there. At the hospital the other night, the nurses liked her "variability" of heartrates. They thought that her heart's range of beats per minute sounded slighty more mature than a typical 25-weeker. (Allow me these brags of my awesome daughter, OK? They reassure me - I've been trying hard not to be one of "those" moms that thinks that their kid is a frickin genius.) That was a nice comment to get, in light of having checked into the hospital 4 times in 4 weeks. Sister's contractions started at week 21. Gavin's started at 27 (well, I noticed the discomfort at 27 - who knows how long I was having them without noticing?) I had 4 weeks of "take it easy" status with Sister. I had none with Gavin. I have had 4 hospital check-ins with Sister. I had 7 with Gavin. With Sister, I am on bedrest now (and Doc says I will likely deliver early, but doesn't know how early). Gavin was 7 weeks early.

Gavin is getting closer to understanding about Sister. He raspberries her all the time now, (but he also raspberries Grandpa Glenn's baby, Daddy's baby, and anyone else who'll let him up their shirt) and when we tell him to tell Sister "good night" he kisses her. When we set aside the infant toys for Sister, Gavin had some nostalgia and grabbed out the plush dinosaur that Grace gave him. Now Dino's his nap buddy. It's funny how Dino's importance changed with the threat of ownership transfer. Silly Gavin!

So Bedrest begins today. I think I knew this was coming. I also think I am ready for it. I have the iPhone to keep me occupied, blogging, and some crocheting. My dad asked my 2nd cousin Vicky to finish up a blanket for Sister that my mom started for Gavin. I asked my aunt Beryl to make a quilt for Sister with some lovely prints that I found, knowing that I wouldn't be able to make her a quilt myself. I didn't watch Grey's Anatomy last year, saved the reruns of King Of Queens, and Dan just found reruns of one of the best shows of all time for me... Malcolm in the Middle. We have Netflix on demand, and plenty of movies for me to catch up on. Luckily, my sixth sense and my hyperactive type A personality mean that I am also ready to have Sister come on home and join us. I persuaded Dan to install the fir flooring patch where the old stairs were. He also insulated, wired, and sheetrocked that corner of the house as well. So her "room" (the corner of our bedroom) is done and ready to welcome her. Her dresser is even stocked full of beautiful and teeny tiny baby clothes, washed and ready to wear. Ha! It's like I knew this was coming...

A nice boy for the world

2010-04-11T01:09:00.000-07:00

Gavin's Grandma Barb is really sick right now and soon will pass. So we're visiting as much as we can now, but being a toddler, he doesn't want to sit and relax! He wants to go up the stairs, down the stairs, go say "Hi!" to Grandma, go see the doggy, watch for birds, eat Chex, go say "Hi!" to Grandma again... It is sweet.
~
Gavin picked up this photo and kissed it again and again and again today. On his own - no prompting. I'm so lucky to have such a nice boy. The world needs lots of those!

Left his heart in San Francisco!

2010-03-29T12:56:00.000-07:00

After a million shots and rides down this slide, Dan captured a sweet slide photo of the happy slide boy! "Wheeeeeeeeee!" Gavin got to go visit cousins and auntie Jessie earlier in March! It was a weekend of many firsts: first flight, first overnight away from his own room, first time meeting a bunch of his cousins, first ocean experience! I think Gavin was a pretty fantastic traveler. I get it - people hate sitting by babies on planes and everyone gave us the evil glare/stare, from boarding to seating to the drink cart to de-boarding.
~
So I have a few thoughts about traveling with a baby.
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1. A quiet baby doesn't equal a good traveler. How many times have I had to sit by the fat guy with bad breath that hogs the arm rest and won't shut up? A good traveler makes a semi-pleasant experience for their neighbors. So big guy, shut your pie hole, order a diet soda, give me back 1/2 ownership over the arm rest and brush your teeth. I'm not here to make friends. I don't care about your granddaughter or your political views. Here's some listerine. And judgemental passengers: If this kid cries a little, he's getting his needs met. Like: "Hey, what the heck is happening here? My ears hurt. Can you get me that bottle please?" or "Holy crap, I'm bored out of my mind. Can we get a little entertainment going on in here?" He doesn't have the social conditioning or the skills yet to ask in a less "annoying" way for his neighbors. I do regret your having to hear his misery, truly, but he's just expressing what we're all feeling and with my way overpacked bag of tricks to keep him happy, I'm on it... I'm keeping him as happy as I can. Big, loud, smelly, arm rest-hog guy should know better. Do I not also deserve a comfortable flight *every*single*other*time*I*fly???
~
2. Help us out. Remember having a kid? Remember having all that crap to lug on board? Or for that matter, every-single-where you ever go? So help us out! We brought half of this crap for YOU people! For a 90 minute flight, we obviously don't need 3 flavors of fruit bar, applesauce, milk, back up milk, juice, an extra bottle just in case, videos, toys, a banana, pretzels, books, and 14 diapers. We had to check a bag for a SF trip for goodness' sake! Who does that!?! People who are trying to give their neighbors a nice flight, that's who. The least you can do is help us stow our crap. :) I'm just sayin. Don't stare with that "Oh god, a baby" look. Or do stare and then offer these harried parents some help. I'm not saying hold the child... I'm saying take the bag out of my hand and put it up! Thanks!
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3. Hey airline, bad job. You should've let a family with a toddler board in the first wave. I appreciate the stroller help (drive it up to the door and then there it is in SF! Sweet!) but preferential boarding sure would've been nice. Then maybe the overhead compartments would've been less hoarded by travelers who can't stomach the $25 check-bag-fee, and who can blame them? Hey, airline, bad job there too. $25 to check my bags? Each way? How dare you?
~
So on a bright and shiny note, Gavin loved the Bay Area. He LOVED the sand at the beach and loved him some cousins. He really liked cousin Tim and enjoyed all the hill walking. He drank a teenie tiny mocha (chocolate sprinkled over steamed milk) at a coffee shop and tootled around China Town with his Dad. I think the pace of the city was fun for him! It'll probably be a while until we travel again. It was the most exhausting vacation we've ever taken. And next time there will be two of them!

Hey, who's reading this thing anyway?

2010-03-29T12:49:00.000-07:00

Gavin's baby brother or sister is due on 11/2/10.

DAMN. I should've figured out how Blogspot worked before I posted this. I was just being a goof since Dan and I were talking about the blog, wondering who reads it. So I posted this and showed it to Dan, who laughed (yes!) and then I pulled it down. DUH! I guess you followers get a notification and so all at once, playgroup found out! Well, it wasn't my intention to share just yet! Now everyone from my beloved cousin Kristi to my high school buddy Alison all know! Haha - Oops! I was going to share after the end of the first trimester, since I'm so newly pregnant. Well, so far, so good. The morning sickness is as bad or slightly worse than with Gavin. The nausea is so extreme!! Apparently, it's in the water, because most of playgroup is looking forward to welcoming in baby #2! Gavin might even know... I don't know if this is coincidence or if he's intuitive, but he was curling up to me the other night and put his head on my tummy to snuggle. Those who know Gavin well know that this is a rarity! It was most likely a coincidence, but hey, a mom likes to think her son is sensitive!! We are teaching him to say "baby" and hope that by this weekend we can teach him to say it when we ask him, "What's in mommy's tummy?" so that he can tell his auntie Jessie that way! So far, he pulls his own shirt up and looks at his tummy when I ask him what's in mine. So in 31 weeks or so, Gavin will share toys, parents, clothes, a home, and his life with a brand new person! Lucky Gavin!

YOGURT!

2010-03-01T22:24:00.000-08:00

Gavin, my independent toddler. He is getting really interested in feeding himself these days. Needless to say, we're doing a lot of laundry. His favorite things these days are finger foods (pretzel sticks, crackers, cereals) but this kid would eat yogurt every meal if we'd let him!
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He's so independent and SO opinionated/willful. It's like looking in a behavior mirror. For Dan, that is. His life is his way or the highway. I'm so glad. I like who he is and who he is becoming. He has a very joyful life and he is learning so much every day. Week to week, we can really see him growing up and changing. The thing that remains so constant is yogurt! He's changed beds (toddler bed now!); he turned 18 months old; he's a word explosion, every week with new words; and he gets crazy in new, funny ways, like when he crawled up on the coffee table at the baby shower - PARTY! But the kids eats darned yogurt morning, noon, and night. And now all by himself!!

Haircut. Growing up.

2010-02-27T22:24:00.000-08:00

We cut his hair. Usually when parents say that, they mean that they paid $28 for someone else to cut their child's hair, they took some photos, and then their child turned out super cute.
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What I mean is that we (Dan and me) cut his hair. Yep, Dan pinned him down and I used my kitchen shears to cut the top first. He looked like Joe Dirt. Then I trimmed up the sides, but they kept turning out unevenly. So we kept cutting until the sides were quite short. And THEN, unfortunately, the curls looked ridiculous. They were pretty poofy and the top was super short. So... oh my gosh. So we totally cut those cute little curls. I'm still a little shocked.

Party like a toddler

2010-02-23T18:45:00.000-08:00

At Zoya's "Baby's First Disco" Gavin partied hearty right up until time to sing Happy Birthday to Zoya, and after all of that crawling, talking, running, playing, climbing, and overall merriment, he just crashed right down, flat on his back among 25? 30? singers, and drank a bottle, all splayed out. I tried to get him to get involved with, you know, Zoya-as-center-of-attention, the song, the people, the cake, the candle... but nope. He was D-O-N-E done.
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I just don't know a lot of people who get quite so in tune with their own bodies as toddlers do. I love that he can plop down and satisy his fatigue and thirst, no matter whose birthday it is. I appreciate this about toddlers and I choose to emulate it. In all likliness, I won't throw (many) fits or hit my mom in the face like Gavin. But perhaps, the next time work wears me out, I'll just leave the planning for the next day and head home, to lay on the couch and ignore the birthday girl, so to speak, and meet my own needs first. In fact, this got me thinking a lot about how well Gavin practices self-care. I'm so jealous...
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In February, we celebrated baby AJ turning 1 at the Children's Museum in Everett. That place is amazing. Gavin got to draw on the glow-in-the-dark-painted walls with a light pen, climb up into a tree house, play in a water table with about 50 square feet of water activities and toys, and spent nearly an hour in the train table area. Gavin apparently loves trains at the following places: other people's homes; toy stores; children's museums; and waiting rooms. He apparently hates them at home. Santa brought him tons of trains this past Christmas and he couldn't be bothered. So Grandma packed them away with her Christmas decorations so that 'Santa' (wink wink) could bring them back and try again next year. Because toddlers know that if you don't feel like playing with trains, then shoot, you should toss them aside and play with the $.99 recorder that your Dad begged your Mom not to buy. Your Mom will just save the trains for later when you feel like playing with them. Life is too short to play with unwanted toys.
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At Ali's birthday at Gymboree, Gavin was mesmerized by bubbles. There must have been a thousand bubbles blown by the party leader. Gavin and I, after much recent over-workage and huge changes at home and at work, including lots less sleep, just stared in awe. And I wish we had more to report about that day but shoot - we slept in, we had coffee, we went to the party, came home and napped, and watched a movie. Just what the doctor ordered. That month of our lives was mostly spent staring at bubbles in complete awe. See? Toddlers know. When the body needs to just soak in life's wonders, all that's needed is a chance to stare at bubbles. The chance is out there - you just need to capture it!
~
At Carlee's birthday in November, Gavin was an explorer. He toddled right out of the party room (cutting way into Mom and Dad's social time with other Moms and Dads...) and slinked right into the exercise room. He crawled up onto the treadmill. So Dan switched it on and helped him walk! Those two know how to party... And the lesson learned here is that when you're rested and eager, life's treadmills will find you. Your Dad will help you turn on the switch.
~
So whatever your needs, think about what a toddler would do. Would a toddler stay late at work and miss family movie night? Hell no.

Typical blogger

2010-02-02T14:52:00.000-08:00

Oh NO! I've gone the way of hack newbie bloggers. I started my blog for this darling baby and now that he's a brute, know-it-all toddler, I've completely abandoned my blog. I can't believe I lost over 6 months of random musings! Well, I am not Type-A'ing my life quite like I used to - before having Gavin I'd have rocked this blog! But in work, in mothering, in life, I just didn't get here. The thought was frequently there. Somehow I've made time for TV, chores, extra work, blurring the line between work and home, and excessive gardening planning. But my thoughts about raising this fun weirdo have been lost temporarily.

Or have they? I keep a journal for Gavin - well, it's more like a long letter. I write to him in it all of the time. It's a way of journaling for me that doesn't feel too cheesy or self-important. It's just a letter to my son, after all. But at the rate I'm going, by the time he is 18 it'll be huge. Dan says it blog cheating to recreate dates in which I didn't keep an actual log. But I say the important thing is the collection of fun stories to keep our families and friends as current as they want to be via this blessing of the new millenium. What do you think? Is it blog cheating to fill in after the fact? Oh, well - I think I'll do it anyway!

Enjoy

2009-12-09T22:24:00.000-08:00

Gavin, if it's at all possible, you're more fun daily. Just tonight, I was trying to find your bottle, because after I gave it to you, I didn't see where you put it. I was down on the floor, booty high and on hands and knees, looking under the couch. You squealed and ran to me, and your face just demanded, “What is THIS game!!??” You looked under the couch but we didn't find the bottle until I was desperate and looked behind the media console. Good one!
~
Well, school is nearly 40% over for the year and it feels like it just started. You know, for teachers this is the longest part of the school year. So babe, we're this close to summer! You go to Janice's house on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, it's a big party here. Dad works from home, you're here all day, Grandma Barb comes over in the morning and Grandma Sue comes over in the afternoons. It's pretty hard to be away on Tuesdays and Thursdays because all of my favorite people are here at home together.
~
You recently started walking a lot. You stood still and just practiced balancing for about a month. And then you just took off. The first day I ever saw you walk and just keep walking is a memory I don't think I'll forget. We had gotten home from daycare and were playing in the kitchen (toys everywhere!) and instead of taking two or three steps, falling and crawling to get what you wanted, you just walked and walked and walked. Your sappy mama, I cried and laughed and somehow, even though I have such a terrible memory, I tried to lock in that image. Your legs and body are so sturdy but your steps were so careful and unbalanced. You tried to slow it down but I could see how hard it was. For the challenge it gave you, your determination impressed me. Once you started walking, the world truly became your playground. You explore everything! Drawers, cabinets, dishes, Clyde's food and water, desktops, tabletops, shoes, you name it.

Gavin's party in the park

2009-09-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

The weather was perfect. Our friends came to celebrate your life and shower you with birthday gifts. Many of our friends brought you Home Depot gift cards, since Dad and I suggested that people could help us buy the materials for a sand box for your birthday. I don't think you'll get much fall or winter use out of this sand box, but come next summer, I think you'll love having a sandbox right here in your own yard! You spend lots of time at your birthday with Aunt Jessica and Grant. You don't see them much since they live in San Francisco. You also got plenty of Grandparent time. Like Oliver and Sophia (who had birthday parties the weekends before and after you), you had a number of friends at your party.
~
My favorite moments at your party were three.
~
First, you were playing with the extra supplies under the food table, and Sophia came to join you. (She is your partner in crime, I think. You and Oliver are pretty well-behaved, but you get into trouble when you play with Sophia!) You looked like you were holding out the water bottle for Sophia, when you hit her on the head with it. Sophia was completely upset, and screamed and cried. You did the funniest thing: you looked down at your lap and then you looked around you, acting like you didn't know what the fuss was over. Only, you didn't actually look innocent. Gavin, what you really seemed was guilty and evasive, while nonchalant. I think I could practically hear you say, “Who? Me?” If you could whistle, I think you would've picked that moment to. You amaze me and I laugh at something funny that you do every single day.
~
Next, when it was cake time, we changed you into a junky t-shirt, so that you could just dive right into your cake without ruining your super cute birthday shirt. You reached out to touch the baseball in the middle of your cake, so I cut you an 8” x 8” square of it. I put it directly on your high chair tray, and the whole party put their eyes to you. The kids that came to celebrate, like Lincoln, Samuel and Joy, were watching your every move. At first, you picked at it and then wondered what was on your skin. I think you liked the feel of the cake. I spoon fed you some frosting and cake to get the ball rolling... and you ate just about every square inch of that silly Costco cake. The frosting colors were mixing together into a green-y grey color, and that it was absolutely coating your face and shirt. You had cake in your hair, on your skin up to your shoulders, and all over your lap. I didn't really know how I was going to get you out of the high chair, to be honest, without ruining my shirt as well. (That shirt you wore is pretty much out of circulation, now, by the way. It didn't really survive the cake...) You kept feeling around the tray for more cake, couldn't find any, and slowly lowered your face down to the tray. You just layed your head there for a moment. I don't know if you were mourning the end of the cake, or if you were just searching for more. Or shoot, maybe you were trying to lick the tray clean but your tummy was too full to allow it. But you just stayed low on the tray for a moment, maybe a little offering of thanks to the cake gods. It was a riot!
~
My final favorite moment of your birthday party was when we were opening gifts and you crawled around under the picnic tables while I finished opening your gifts. You see, you know what a party is all about! Who cares about gifts and cards when there are pieces of furniture to move; aunts, uncles, and friends to visit; and exploring to be done! I thought it might be fun to open your presents in front of friends and family, but you reminded me what a birthday party is all about.

3 weeks of Summer fun!

2009-07-10T23:21:00.000-07:00

Mom and Dad are making this the best week of my life! We got to go to the park and crawl, crawl, crawl... and they let me hold the doggy's leash... also they let me take baths!!! I love the bath tub. When Mom takes down the gate, I race through the kitchen to the bathroom and try to get into the tub, even when there's no water in it. So far, I can't figure out how to get in. Maybe I'll just keep saying "Aaahh-AAAAHHHhhhh" she'll figure out how to help me get in. This week, I really liked learning how to shake my head. I usually do that when I'm dancing when Mom and I watch our Dance show together.

I am finally making peace with the hat. That chin strap is so strong!

I have a new trick this week, too. Also, I think I have cracked the code of the magical remote control. It's because I don't like how my Mom watches TV. She makes the sound disappear and I want to hear it! I took it from her to turn the sound back on. I don't always know which button it is, but I think if I chew on it, I might figure it out.

Crawling is taking a lot out of my Mom...

2009-07-08T22:23:00.000-07:00

Uh oh. Mom's falling down on the blog. Heh heh. Here's what's new with Gavin: All he does now is crawl, crawl, crawl! Once he figured out how to get his little body from here to there, it seems that's all he has an interest in doing now! Gavin gets into everything now - and it's hard to find 10 minutes to just sit and relax while he's awake now.

I will always remember the day Gavin learned how to move. I mark it from the first time he moved forward across an open space. It was like the worm, though, a funny-tummy-up-down-crawl. Some might not have marked from that spot - we do! His hands and knees crawling was more gradual so I can't pinpoint a day that began. But the first day he crawled, Dan and I were grinning ear to ear and just followed him. Don't you know it - he first crawled to the lamp and put the cord in his mouth. Then he crawled over to the junk mail/shred bin and started pulling everything out and putting it in his mouth. After this, he moved over to the toy bins (yay - we thought that was safe!) and crawled right through the back and grabbed the cords to the stereo components. And soon after, we found him over at the desk, messing with the CD tray of the computer and grabbing cords there. We had a long ways to go to babyproof that room!

These days, Gavin's life seems very fun. He is busy with some fun foods (Cheerios, turkey, bites of whatever we're eating, and lots of fruit) and some fun activities (swimming at the wading pool; walks and runs with Mom and Clyde, the wonderdog; and going to the park to crawl) and some terrific friends who also have kids around Gavin's age. We get together several times a month. We walk around GreenLake and invite the Dads too! Last weekend we had an impromptu bbq with everyone here at our house.

At Gavin's 9 month appointment, we learned that he (at 27 pounds) is as far over the top of the chart as the chart is tall. So we take that to mean two things: we grow a good baby and he's in the 200th percentile. He's long too, at 31 inches. He's off the charts for height too, and his head size is in the 95th percentile. For a teeny little early man, he's doing much bigger and better than we expected! The doctor said he looks great and she'll see him when he's a year old. Yes!

Gavin loves to drag furniture across the room. He loves to hide and seek. He doesn't like to be left alone in a room when he's sleepy/crabby. When he sits in the tub, he does anything but sit... he stands, crawls, turns around, plays, lays down and wiggles. He throws Cheerios on the floor and watches Clyde eat them. Clyde crosses the room to get a few Cheerios at a time, and Gavin throws more to get him to come back. When we go outside, Gavin puts the same type of weed in his mouth every single day. He hates peas but loves pea soup.

Mommy and Me... Summer of fun... Week 2!

2009-07-03T22:24:00.000-07:00

Mom got me a hat. I hate it. And she makes me get out of the pool before I'm ready. And right when I'm telling her how mad I am she tells me to smile for a picture. She is so weird! Who can smile at a time like this?? We have to leave already?? UGH, MOM. I try and try to get that hat off but she straps it on so tight. Who's possibly that strong?? Mom did take me to the swings this week (I love to giggle on the swings!) and I crawled all the way to the neighbor's far side yard! Oh, you should have seen my Mom, chasing me over to Jim's house! She said, "What the?" and "You get back here!" but I just laughed and kept crawling. I kept turning around to see where she was, but I left her in the dust. Oh, I am so fast!

Summer of Fun... week 1

2009-06-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

This week, we lived the other life... the one in which my Mom doesn't leave every day to go to work! We ran or walked around the lake every day. We slept in! Can you believe it? My mom got to sleep in! On Friday we walked to Mighty O and just sat there while we ate a donut (OK, just my mom did - but she gave me a tiny little bite and I got to watch people and cars.) We went to the wading pool with Junko and baby Ali (I love her!) and we got to go shopping with Cory and baby Henry and then we got to have a playdate with Kristen and baby Hope at the wading pool. My favorite day was Thursday when Dad and Mom both stayed home!

24 hours of screaming

2009-05-29T20:46:00.000-07:00

(haha, don't tell my parents, but I just wanted to make sure they don't want to have any more kids! I really did it - it was so hard - I cried for a whole night!! Oh, you should have seen me. I think it was my best work yet. I didn't like how they were talking about getting pregnant again soon so "the kids could be close." Hey, you guys, we don't need any more kids in this house! I'm all you need!!)

GI Gavin

2009-05-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

About 6 weeks ago, Gavin started rolling over. Everyone said he'd start crawling pretty soon and then... nada. He's still able to scoot backwards but not quite move forward. We've said "it's going to happen any day now" for over a month. Instead of getting going, Gavin started getting up on all fours He's a bit of a show off - he can do a better plank and downward-facing dog than I can!

We're getting ready for summer. Gavin's working on sleeping in, and Mom's counting down how many days to go until the break begins (incidentally, 16). We're practicing sleeping on the outdoor couch, under the apple tree and taking lazy walks around the lake with friends. This summer, we have big plans to crawl, read, walk, roll, eat, play, and relax. You can find us at the park, library, lake, yard, blow-up pool, and hopefully our hammock!

Have you been wondering what Gavin's first word will be? Well. Let's talk about this. See, in January as I returned to work, Gavin cried for food like this: "Mmmaaahhhhmmmmm!!" and Dan always said, "He's calling you!" So that was his first word, right? Not so fast. Now, Gavin's saying, "HehDad" often, during his sweet, varied syllable babble. Lots of "Heh-Dadadada" and too true, it sounds just like "Hi, Dad." This makes me wonder how parents really figure out what the first word is. I say it's "Mom", Dan says it's "Hi, Dad." I bet one day, he curses and we have to call that his first word.

Gavin can sit, roll, scoot sideways & backwards, and move from sitting to laying. He likes his Baby Mum Mum crackers and his banana puffs. He doesn't like to be alone or be hungry. His days are full of walks and toys. Taking apart the box appeals to him a tad more than playing with the actual toys. He likes "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and this blue toy with a jingle device inside of it. He's madly in love with his Sophie giraffe and likes to smack the plastic stars on the floor. One of his new things is to rub his drooly face on your shoulder and put his mouth on your knees. ?? He's odd, what can we say?? He likes to crawl under the table and scoot the chairs around. He is crazy attracted to the xbox and tuner - and he loves turning the volume up and down! He giggles when you squeeze his thighs (they're more than a handful!) and he still snuggles.

It's so fun to be Gavin's mom! He's fun and wonderful. We're lucky parents. He's one in a zillion!

Growing UP!

2009-04-01T09:50:00.000-07:00

Gavin's doing a ton of big boy things: he helps feed himself his bottle with his massive hands; he rolls over; he eats food and tries to drink out of cups (and by "tries" I mean it's exhausting to straight-jacket-hold his efforts to grab anything and everything to do with food and beverages); he stays up late (grrr...); he screams when he's mad; and he can scoot backwards on the hardwood floor. Maybe it's because it's still so cold in Seattle that the only unclothed part of him is his hands (therefore the only part of him touching the floor with traction are his hands...) but to see him slide/scoot himself across the floor is pretty darn cute.

This week, with no school in session, we are home together while Grandma Barb is on vacation in California and Grandma Sue is getting some R&R at home. And being Gavin's mom-at-home-all-day fits, too. I didn't know how much I'd enjoy being with this little dude aaallllllll the tiiiiiiime, but I do enjoy it greatly! It's too bad I enjoy my job so much, too. I just need longer days to fit in all of the fun stuff I like to do!

New post for March!

2009-03-27T01:31:00.000-07:00

Gavin has had some excitement this month... FOOD! I wasn't going to be one of those moms who writes about each meal, but today's dinner was too cute not to mention: he ate pureed mangoes and vanilla yogurt. Together. Just because I eat a bite of everything we give him (fyi: sweet potatoes = yuck, formula = not too bad, yo baby yogurt = jury's still out, Gerber bananas = mushy banana candy, mom's homemade carrot puree = delish) I tried this mango yogurt concoction and I do believe we have a winner! I kept thinking, I'd smack the table for more of this, too!

He's funny when he eats. He loves fruit; he tolerates vegetables (I think he has Grandma to thank for that gene). Sometimes he eats two bites; sometimes the entire bowl (mango yogurt = two whole bowls). Occasionally he'll eat like it's his last meal; sometimes he's too busy with something more interesting. At times, he's so hungry for more, he's smacking the table and crying because you can't shove it in fast enough. He helps guide the spoon into his mouth. What a nut!

And a large child, he is! At his 6 month check up, he tipped the scales at 21 lbs. 6 oz. His doctor said, "That's a big boy!" Well, when this big boy is hungry, you wish you weren't in the room! His cries are unbearable when he's hungry. For an early baby, it's refreshing to see how he's grown into such a hefty thang. It was easy to worry about the "preemie" but he seems to have trashed that title.

He rolled that mass-o-body over a few times in the past week, but gets stuck on that darn arm, which he has trouble freeing once he's made the roll. I saw his first two rolls (Friday, March 20) and got an early morning chill... he's going to start crawling soon. We are so not ready for this guy to be on the move! All our junk is on the low levels! We don't pick up after ourselves! We have an outlet every 16 inches! That's a lot of outlet plugs... better get busy babyproofing...

He hates solid foods & swimming, but loves the swings!!!

2009-02-27T21:22:00.000-08:00

Yep. Gavin and I had a week off together and tried three new things: solid foods (bust); swimming (torture); and swinging at the park (mostly indifferent... but a few small smiles, so we'll call it a success!). I had these ideas for a sweet week with my boy, experiencing all these fun firsts, while I was a stay-at-home-mom for 5 quick days... and then life ruled. There was a different plan in store for us! He was so upset he nearly bucked his way out of his high chair and it took a good 10 minutes to calm him down. (I think I might have pushed him a little too hard.)

At the pool (the heated pool, mind you) he lost his mind! He splashed his hands in the water (which splashed his face, which freaked him out) and thrashed around. I didn't dare get his face wet or let go of him... but he just seemed utterly uncomfortable. It took us longer to get changed than we actually swam - Ha! Best of all, we got to support the most profitable pool in the Seattle area. Open swim cost us $9.50. Huh? I kind of thought she was kidding when she said that's how much we owed!

Last, but best, was the park. It was freezing that day, but we walked with friends to the park to give those big-boy swings a try. He likes his swing at home, so I figured the swings at the park would be a hit. With the lack of success with food and swimming (even though he loves to eat formula and likes a bath now and then) I almost abandoned the idea of the park. But this was my Everest, last week. It was now or never. Do or die. So we trekked to that park and we mounted that swing. She shoots; She scores!!! The kid likes to swing!!!! OK, OK, he tolerated it and barely smiled. But in a week of such massive failure, I'll call a few slight smiles "Gavin likes it."

Maybe it sounds right to you, or maybe it sounds nuts. But later last week, I grabbed the camera and found another first with our boy without pre-planning and building it up to be something enormous. He smiled and laughed on dad's lap and mom caught a delightful smile with teeth. Three cheers for capturing the moment, aka Slacking. Isn't he lovely?

No picture; just hope I never forget this moment.

2009-02-10T19:18:00.001-08:00

My two guys are playing on Dad's computer. Dan's selecting the next song and Gavin's staring at the screen. Gavin is moving and Dan's helping him dance. When Dan selected a "lame" slow song, he helped Gavin sway to the music and kissed his head. I love these two boys so much. I love watching them spend time together. Dan's a great dad and Gavin adores him! Of course, just as I could wipe a dramatic tear, Dan puts on some death metal and the tenderness is gone... almost.

Houston, we have teeth!

2009-02-03T21:26:00.000-08:00

Yes, Gavin has teeth. Usually, I don't find teeth cute, but these little teeth melt my heart! These teeth made their appearance yesterday, the day Gavin was officially 5 months old. In this picture, they are not flooded in the usual saliva that coats our shoulders, necks, and his hands. He hasn't been too crabby about the teeth, but a few random and loud cries (and the constant drooling and hand chewing) clued us in. And they are sharp! Look out!

2009-01-29T19:22:00.000-08:00

What a cute and silly boy. I propped him up in the couch corner to get a picture of him in his baby legs, and I couldn't get the "perfect" picture! Either his eyes were closed or his hands blurred or the flash didn't work or he was falling over or... and it wasn't until later that I noticed this one. I love this picture! He's so funny. He looks like he's singing. He doesn't actually sing, but he was mid smile and blinked at the flash. He acts carefree and fun-loving. In some ways, this picture sums him up!

In a few days, Gavin will be 5 months old. How can we have checked out of the hospital 5 months ago? My friends with kids only a few months older than Gavin have teeth, words, and steps. I can not imagine. Just when I got used to saying he's 4 months old, I realized today that in 4 days, he'll be 5 months. How could 7 months of pregnancy be so long, and 5 months of Gavin's life be so fast?

As of the last few days, Gavin has the giggles. Of course, we can't prove it with a video, since he was all grins and giggles until he saw the video camera... at which point he made the "deer-in-the-headlights" look. I swear, that boy is as interested in technology as his dad is!

He loves tummy raspberries (is there anything in life better than baby tummies?). His thrill is the eye contact after the raspberry. See, the raspberry itself doesn't make him laugh; the funny faces you share with him are what do it, just afterwards. What a nut! Gavin also reaches towards you with a fist-chew. It's like a wet-handed-hug he likes to give. If you're not his mom, it sounds gross... it's the sweetest part of my day.

This week he also started having success when he reaches out to grab something. He can pick up his toy lamb; look at him while he holds him; bite his nose; and try to eat him (insert vegetarian joke - we do!) It's been such a privelege and such a thrill to watch as his flailing arms nearly overnight turn into tools he can use to accomplish a job. It's not that these are things that amaze me because he's better than average or something. I know that all kids learn this very skill. It's that we (the love of my life and I) made him from one cell almost exactly a year ago, and now, that little cell appreciates tummy raspberries and bring Lammy to his face. Every single one of his achievements in every single day is a miracle.

My mom's a workin' girl!

2009-01-13T19:52:00.000-08:00

How cute is this kid? Look at the rooooollllls on those legs. He likes to lock those knees lately and practically stand up. I am excited to see him like and learn new things, but come on kid. You're 4 months old. You do not need to stand up, yet! He's so cute and funny, I could just play with him all day! It's actually a little hard to leave each day to go to work. Yes, I rejoined the working (outside of the home) world. I'm enjoying it tons, but leaving in the mornings is a little bit awful. Once I get to work, of course everything in the world is just right. But every morning I rethink my decision to work. And when that school bell rings, I think I'm the most excited person in the building that school is over. I practically run home!

So Gavin, Dan and I have fallen into a routine each week. We are lucky to have moms that come and watch Gavin for us when we work and Dan can bring the baby over to visit me at work on Tuesdays and Thursdays for lunch or to walk home with me. Things like bath time, tummy time, holding Gavin, talking and singing to him, and feeding him are our new form of entertainment. And he's getting so fun! He laughs at appropriate times (you know, like when things are actually funny!) and he is babbling a ton. I get about 3 hours with Gavin each evening. In the mornings, I'm lucky to get a few minutes to squeeze him and then hand him over to a Grandma or Dad before I rush to work. So baby nail trimming, bottle preparation, swing time, bouncy chair, songs, stories, talking, baths have become my evenings! I wouldn't trade my evenings for anything!

My tiny little preemie is a MOOSE

2008-12-29T21:59:00.001-08:00

Well, Gavin is getting so big that these milestones have occurred in just 24 hours:
- While out shopping, my darling husband casually said, "He's HEAVY! You know, I don't know how Moms can do this!" while he was carrying him in the Bjorn through Target. Oh honey, ain't that the truth?
- I boxed up Gavin's 0-3 month clothes and had to break out the 3-6 month clothes. Then I took a look at the 6-9 month clothes and realized... they almost fit. Huh? And then I opened up the preemie/newborn box and realized, he was wearing these 2-3 months ago... and they're half his length now.
- Gavin went to his 4 month appointment. 16 pounds, 9.5 ounces! Oh. My. Gosh. Uhm, excuse me, but did anyone else know it's already December? I mean, that it's almost January? How did that happen??!
- I cleaned my room and found his hospital anklet. It's approximately the size of a thumb ring for my husband. I bawled like a baby (I hate the sap that I've become) (OK, I mean the additional magnitude to my sap, I guess) at the tiny little sight of it.

Ugh, this is just going waaaay too fast. It feels like I was on that C Section table about a year ago, but I was holding him in the NICU about 2 or 3 weeks ago. By that weirdly-perceived math, I'll be driving this kid to college by the time school's out for this school year. And by the way, is this how ALL moms feel? Why couldn't we listen when others told us how fast this would go? Does this mean my mom was right about everything else? Uh-Oh.

Gavin loves Christmas!

2008-12-26T09:45:00.000-08:00

Well, it's official. Gavin was good enough this year to get a visit from the big man in the red suit. Books and toys and college money, OH MY! No coal for this kid!

Noteworthy events from this Christmas:
- Dad got Gavin cool blocks and crinkle plush toys.
- Mom got Gavin books (ugh, teachers...)
- The puppet that the Berglund grandparents got him made him cry. It's just a silly, mixed up robot with green and gold and crossed eyes, but Gavin cried and cried when it was held up in front of him. Weirdly, it wasn't scary the next day.
- The TriBot that the Sipe grandparents got him is a fusion of technology and personality, for ages 8+. Hmmm, we'll show those toymakers a thing or two! (Good thing Dan is 8+)
- Gavin got adorable clothing as gifts from people, as usual! He's the best dressed kid we know!

One Christmas gift Gavin gave his parents was the gift of sleeping through the whole night - from 7 pm until 7 am. Too bad this was the night Dan was on the clock to address Gavin's needs all night, as Kate was on the clock the night before... when the little darling woke up 3 times! Doh!

Santa's Favorite... boyeee

2008-12-22T09:11:00.000-08:00

Ah... look at the little baby, flashing gang signs. Gavin's first Christmas is just around the corner! We got him a ton of books and some blocks. We already have plenty of what he really wants (formula & diapers). Hey, we know he wants them because he cries until he gets them - daily! So we thought we'd get some toys too.

Gavin's a little bit picky about his toys so far. He has so many toys (thank you, friends and family!) that I had to buy toy storage for a 1 month old! But he likes one toy, and one toy only. And that's his light green dino rattle. It's the only toy that he plays with and looks at. He will hold onto that rattle like it's the key to life. But all of his other toys mean nothing so far. So... the two collectors and hobbyists have a minimalist son? That's weird. Maybe an 800 square foot house will work just fine afterall...

Gavin this Winter

2008-12-21T16:03:00.001-08:00

Well, this is Gavin's first snow! I think he likes looking at it from indoors, but yesterday when we were taking cookies to neighbors he seemed not to like the cold. He whimpered, cuddled into a little ball in his baby bjorn, and went to sleep.

We're all snowed in this winter and we get to see what Gavin's life is like! We eat when we're hungry, we sleep when we're sleepy, and we just change out of our PJs when they're dirty - into new PJs. Ahhh, Dan and I are lovin the life of a baby! Today is Day #5 of our snow-in.

Gavin is beginning to hold his head high by himself. He smiles when he sees his favorite people. His baby babble will absolutely melt hearts. We really enjoy this little guy.

My favorite photos of Gavin

2008-12-18T22:24:00.000-08:00

If he looks like me, and he's adorable, am I vain?

2008-11-15T22:24:00.000-08:00

Baby Dan, brand new, 1977

Baby Gavin, brand new, 2008

Baby Gavin ~ 2 1/2 months, 2008

Baby Kate ~ a few months, 1976 or '77

A bunny for Halloween

2008-10-31T22:24:00.000-07:00

Gavin was a little bunny for Halloween. We visited Dan at work, we trick or treated a few neighbors, and we bought cinnamon pine cones. Our pumpkin never got carved because we ran out of time! Gavin rubbed off most of his whiskers and his bunny nose by the time we came home from our friends' party. Apparently he likes wearing make up as much as I do!

He's finally due!

2008-10-24T22:24:00.000-07:00

As I approached our due date, I just couldn’t believe that Gavin is still supposed to be in there! He is just over 8 pounds now. His eyes are still a gorgeous oceany, almost navy blue. He goes from zero to sixty in about 15 seconds: he whimpers a little, and within the minute he screams like he's on fire! He's our little ticking time bomb.

For my birthday, he and I got a donut with a friend. She told a story and when I repeated the line “four pregnancy tests!!??” he smiled a very big, and very intentional smile. It wasn’t gas this time! And then he just kept smiling! I kept saying “four pregnancy tests!!??” and he just kept on smiling! It was the best gift ever. He looked right at me with that heart-melting smile. I can see why parents work so hard to see their kids smile like that. He has made my life much richer. I think he is absolutely amazing. We are so honored.

How can he be a month old?

2008-10-03T22:24:00.000-07:00

This week, Dan went back to work so it was just Gavin and me. Feeding him, playing with him, and keeping him happy are very easy so far, but he is still so hard to give a bath to! What a slippery little bugger.

We took him to a photo shoot this week. Four quick weeks old. 7 little pounds, 3 tiny ounces. Gavin peed 3 or 4 times during the shoot - naked! What a leaky little faucet! And just when we thought we got the pee under control, he pood all over the photographer’s ottoman! So gross. So funny.

This week, Gavin stuck his tongue out at Dan and then smiled a smile so wide, I could see it from behind Gavin's head! His first! I would have given anything to see that smile. When Dan talks, Gavin has always paid close attention and he's very expressive. They are the perfect pair; Dan tells a good story and Gavin has great reactions. I hope they are always close. I will always recall how widely he opened his eyes at the hospital when Dan spoke. Dan was the only one who could hold his attention that first week! It's wonderful to see one of the loves of my life so in love with the other.

He has a smirky half smile (that Dan says came from me. What? I do that?); he has a dimpled cheeks (that looks just like mine); and the top of his cheek bumps into the bottom of his eye, making his eyes smile into little slits. Sometimes I think I'm looking into a time-machine-mirror.

Two weeks old!

2008-09-16T22:24:00.000-07:00

* NAKED * BABY * ALERT * So far this kiddo seems to love life. He smiles a little bit; he is very pleasant to be around; and he has this sweet, polite cry when he needs something. His angry, frustrated cry comes much later. Gavin makes sweet sounds when he's held by family members, and he breathes with sighs when he eats from his bottle.

We have given him a few baths and each time, we crack up! At first, it's obvious that it's pure torture. After a few minutes, his mad cry tapers down to a questioning cry - still crying but seemingly not sure why. After a few minutes of that, he actually enjoys taking a bath. He has a “ha-ha… ha-ha” cry that just kills me. It’s the sweetest, least convincing cry I’ve ever heard. When that calm comes over him, he opens his eyes wide, looks around, and even reaches out for Dan and me. The best part is washing his hair at the end of the bath. He adores getting his hair washed! Doesn't everyone?

During the first two weeks, Gavin learned to open his other eye (no longer Dan's little pirate); he started grabbing at pacifiers; he took his first naps on Dan’s and my chests; and his cord fell out on his two week birthday – tonight! Everyone says he is a very beautiful baby. And it’s so true. He has lovely skin, gorgeous blue eyes, sweet expressions, and incredible thick, brown hair. I can’t get enough of him!

Being someone's mom is so hard. I think I will never be able to tell him how much I love him. How will he know!? He was a perfect stranger, and then he became everything in the whole world to me. My life changed the second I saw him. He makes me better. I have never loved someone so wholly. We’re so excited to see what he's going to do in this life.

Bringing a new roommate home

2008-09-09T10:24:00.000-07:00

Around 2:00 am, a few hours after the C-section, I had enough control back in my legs to go meet the baby. I climbed out of bed with the help of Dan and two nurses, into the wheelchair. It was probably one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done! And it HURT! My nurse summed it up well when she said, "I'm just gunna throw this out there... this is gunna suck." It did.

When I met Gavin in the nursery, he was a tangle of monitors: heart rate, oxygen, and lung. And he was on an IV. I couldn’t move well; all I could do is reach up to touch his heel. I felt small and useless. I couldn't hold my baby; I could barely touch him; his care was 100% out of my control and I had so much healing to do, I couldn't jump right in and be his mom just yet. His was the smallest foot I’ve ever seen. He was 5 pounds, 9 ounces at birth. His stay in the special care nursery began with extra oxygen, since his lungs were a little bit sticky still. His breath had a sigh upon every exhale. Each day the nurses and doctors liked what they saw in Gavin. He started eating breastmilk and formula every 3 hours - 1/6 of an ounce per serving! In a few days' time, he was up to 50 mL per serving. He spent 3 or 4 days in the incubator. We trekked out to get some smaller outfits, when the nurses graduated him out of the incubator and into a crib. We knew we needed preemie sized clothes when we couldn't stop laughing at the sight of Gavin in his newborn sized clothes. The child looked like he was playing dress up.

Life changed forever & for better on September 9, 2008, when we brought baby Gavin home with us. We know we are so lucky. When we put all of our bags down, we looked at each other and said, “Now what?” It's hard to remember what this house and this life was like without him. After 5 weeks in and out of the hospital, we were definitely ready to have our son at home with us.

The baby kicks his way out... 6 or 7 weeks early

2008-09-02T22:24:00.000-07:00

This is the hectic story of August 2008. My mom called me and asked me to go to Harbor View to be with her dad, Ken, because she didn’t want him to be by himself after his stroke and helicopter lift from Sequim. When my mom and Lilly (Grandpa's wife) arrived at the hospital, I grabbed my mom's hand and held it on my stomach, when I was having a contraction. I thought they Braxton-Hicks. My mom almost never tells people what to do, but she said, “You need to go see your doctor!”

Within 2 hours of leaving Harbor View and my Grandpa's side, I was admitted to Northwest Hospital myself, in pre-term labor.

For the next month, doctors couldn’t get the contractions under control. They were certainly trying! We tried 5 different medications. After 4 weeks of trying combinations of the drugs, we thought we had gotten it solved. During the four weeks, we stayed overnight at the hospital 14 nights and had to check in 6 different times. Driving to the hospital and checking in is a scary process, partly for safety concerns, but also because we didn't know if we were going to be parents early or on time. The baby's survival chances were terrific (only slightly less than a normal term baby). But the unknown is frightening. In hindsight, the funniest moment of the whole month was when we were speaking to one of the more serious, somber doctors and I shouted, "But we haven't even taken our class yet!" The feeling of unpreparedness was absolutely overwhelming.

Twice we had to go back to the hospital on the same night as we had just gotten sent home because the contractions were stronger than the medication. One medication made my blood pressure too low and another medication made the amniotic fluid too low. Both prolonged my hospital stays. One of the medications was horrible: it made me feel hopeless, hot, dizzy, worn out (but not sleepy), and like I had the flu. It really worked to knock out the contractions but on it, the hospital monitors your vitals every 2 hours; your blood every 6 hours; and your reflexes every 2 or 4 hours. In addition to flu-like symptoms, they monitor your intake of fluids and your urine output. I’d have to say August was the worst month of my life and Magnesium Sulfate is the worst experience I've ever had.

During the hospital stays, my mom and I realized that I had been in labor since mid-July. We traced it back to a lunch date from which I went home early. This means that when Gavin misbehaves, I get to say "I was in labor for 6 weeks with you!" I even confirmed it with my doctors. Look out, kid. One wrong step...

During one of the hospital stays, on August 9th, the doctors at Northwest Hospital got very concerned about two things. The first was that their special care nursery could only care for infants that were early by 8 weeks. They couldn’t take care of preemies that were younger than 32 weeks along. At this time, our baby was either 30 or 31 (unknown because the doctors all disagreed on my actual due date). The other concern was that my cervix was dilating. They tested us for the “I’m on my way” hormone babies release, and we tested positive for that. So Dan drove behind my ambulance, as we were taken to Swedish Hospital in Seattle. We thought we were going to have a baby that night or the next night!

My body seemed peaceful for the first time in about a week, the afternoon that miraculously, my contractions stopped and my Grandpa passed away. I could see his hospital from my hospital room, and a gorgeous sunset lit Harbor View up in a crystal clear skyline. I was thanking the universe and the baby and my body for calming down, finally, and at 1 cm dilated at the 30 week mark, I felt my first bout of hope since the initial check-in. I was rubbing my belly, giving the sleeping baby a hug, as my mom called to tell me that my Grandpa had passed away. It happened earlier that afternoon, right when the contractions stopped.

I think they would have enjoyed one another greatly. My Grandpa was kind, gentle, fair, compassionate, and honest. He was one of the nicest men I have ever known. I know he would have loved to hold our baby in his arms like he has held his other great grandchildren. But I’m so glad my baby stayed in to finish growing. Grandpa passed away on August 10th when he was 84 years old. He had a wonderful life; two amazing wives, 5 incredible children, 10 awesome grandchildren, and 12 beautiful great grand children. And this one on the way! What a rich, full life he had. I am proud to be his granddaughter.

On August 11th, Dan and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. We had thai food for dinner and hospital cake for dessert.

Four weeks after going to the first doctor’s appointment and first hospital check-in, Dan helped me clean up the living room to host book club. As soon as the girls arrived, we started talking about the book and my water broke! After all the baby and I had been through (all the medications, hospitalizations, fear, and worry) it was a little bit funny that my water just broke.

The water broke at 7:30. The doctor was telling us the C-section plan at 8:30. They rolled me in for the C-section at 9:30, and I was back in the room at 10:30. No one moves you right through delivery like Dr. Frankwick and Northwest Hospital!

Dr. Matin and Dr. Frankwick did the C-section together. At the beginning of the surgery, I was terrified and couldn't control the shaking. The thought of cutting my belly open to get him out, the stitches to close it up, and the possibility that he might not be 100% safe were all terrifying to me. Through my head ran vivid, bright bloody red pictures of what a C-section looks like, complete with huge butcher knives and football-like stitches. And of course, in my head there was blood all over everything. Dan, the doctors, and my hero, the man who made my legs numb (and then talked my ear off through the surgery) all helped me relax. In fact, I didn’t even know that the surgery had started until I heard Dr. Frankwick say, “suction” I said, “What? We started?!”

By the end of the C-section, I was chatting like old friends with the anesthesiologist and surgeon. The anesthesiologist was saying he has never had an epidural and one day he'd like to try it out to see what it's like. I told him he wasn't missing much. And the surgeon is a quilter so I told her all about my new longarm quilting machine. I could not stop loving those two. I was freaking out and asked everyone "What do I do about the urge to cross my legs?" and the anesthesiologist said "Go ahead!" and then laughed himself silly. For such a scary operation, I had a funny and fun team slicing me open to pull my kid out. What a weird night.

I felt some pressure, heard a little pop, and I could hear a tiny, squeaky cry from the baby. It was a calm cry, more like babbling than crying. It was so small, in fact, that it sounded like it was in another room. I remember asking "Is that my baby?" Dan walked over to meet him and take his picture. Then Dan brought him to me. He was just perfect. He wasn’t too fussy; he had a great color; he layed peacefully in Dad’s arms; and I fell in love with him instantly. The doctors were so pleased that he could breathe on his own. We all really didn't know what to expect.

Looking at your baby for the first time is something I will never ever forget. Though I had been telling Dan this is the only baby we're going to have for over a month, I looked at this baby and decided on at least one more before they even stitched me back up. I have such awe that I could love someone so much after just meeting them. I have never loved someone more.