Sister!

Summer vacation without Mom!? That's crazy! That's Gavin's summer this year. Yesterday, 8/23 is the day I was supposed to head back to work for a week-long training. Back in June, when I was cleaning out the classroom, two months ago, that seemed like it would take forever! But here we are, two months of contractions, 28 days of restricted activities, and on day 34 of bedrest. On Gavin's and my Summer of Fun Calendar, we were set to go to Charlotte's Web today at the Family Fun Film Festival at the Northgate cinemas. Instead, Gavin faithfully puts on his shoes every day, kisses me, tells me "love-a-you" and walks to the door shouting, "BYE! BYE! BYE!" to leave with different friends and family every day on fun and exciting play dates. He is a champ - up for any adventure at a moment's notice. I'm missing all of it!

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I guess Gavin's Sister and my faulty uterus have big plans for me.

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Today I got four bits of bad news: news that made me unhappy and made my doctor harder to read than usual. I think she is sensitive to how much the good and bad news impact me, so although she prides herself on very direct communication, I believe she tempers it for me somewhat. We do see one another 2-3 times per week and have for about 6 weeks now. She said a few reassuring words but concluded the appointment by reminding me my "call the hospital" limits. That, as a patient, feels very different than wrapping up an appointment with just a smile and a "See you on Friday!"

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So here's what we discovered today via my 19th ultrasound in two months:

1. The amniotic fluid, on my 14th day of Ibuprofen (the "ace" drug to keep preterm labor patients pregnant) has lowered to a point of almost too low - cut almost in half since the last scan. The implication of this news is that we might have to discontinue the Ibuprofen on Friday. It's the drug that *seeeeeeems* to have been the drug that has kept me out of the hospital for the last 15 days (which my wallet doesn't mind - the bills are flooding in) and kept the contractions at fewer than 4 per hour, my limit.

2. The cervical length is shorter. It can lengthen and shorten, but the trend over the last 10 days seems to show that shorter is the new length. My doctor is happy with anything over 2 cm, so 2.7 is technically fine, but 4 days ago it was 3.3 and a month ago it was closer to 4. I realize we are talking about millimeter changes, but when it changes a few mm per day, and I'm 7 mm from the unsafe, check into the Childbirth Center zone, those little mm don't seem so insignificant anymore.

3. There is some "beaking" now at the bottom of the amniotic sac/top of the cervix. What we are supposed to see is a big, round shape at the bottom of the uterus, at the opening of the cervix. What we saw today was a little triangle of the amniotic sac, "beaking" into the cervix. It really does look like a bird's beak. I have questions that (of course) I thought of on the drive home like "Can beaking fix itself?" and "How quickly can/does a beak cause the amniotic sac to break?" so to those I have no answers. My understanding is that the pressure of the bag of water on the beak and the cervix acts to pry it further open.

4. This is the news the doctor called me with when I got home from the appointment. The drugs and my naturally occurring hormones have wreaked havoc on my body's glucose levels and my insulin's ability to get the glucose processed. So I've been on a diabetic diet for 2 weeks now, watching my first-thing-in-the-morning glucose levels in particular. The post-food numbers are terrific but the wake-up numbers are still too high (because of the drugs and the gestational diabetes). So starting asap, I have to start injecting insulin in the evenings. This does not make me happy.

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I know in a year (or hopefully 13 or 14 months) I'll be planning a birthday party for a cute and sweet one year old, but for right now, it's scary and I'm worried. I'm exhausted from the day-to-day changes and new findings when I don't expect them - ie, when we're exchanging small talk during the ultrasound and the doctor says "Oh, the fluid is way down today." It's hard not to know if she'll be born in August (still a possibility, although shrinking), September (my guess), October (my OB thinks she'll almost certainly be out *by* early October), or November (her actual due date). That's 4 different birthstones as I'm shopping for my slice/push present. And I'll leave it right there! Updates on Friday or as they happen. Thanks for your interest in our family's well-being.