Sister!

Summer vacation without Mom!? That's crazy! That's Gavin's summer this year. Yesterday, 8/23 is the day I was supposed to head back to work for a week-long training. Back in June, when I was cleaning out the classroom, two months ago, that seemed like it would take forever! But here we are, two months of contractions, 28 days of restricted activities, and on day 34 of bedrest. On Gavin's and my Summer of Fun Calendar, we were set to go to Charlotte's Web today at the Family Fun Film Festival at the Northgate cinemas. Instead, Gavin faithfully puts on his shoes every day, kisses me, tells me "love-a-you" and walks to the door shouting, "BYE! BYE! BYE!" to leave with different friends and family every day on fun and exciting play dates. He is a champ - up for any adventure at a moment's notice. I'm missing all of it!

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I guess Gavin's Sister and my faulty uterus have big plans for me.

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Today I got four bits of bad news: news that made me unhappy and made my doctor harder to read than usual. I think she is sensitive to how much the good and bad news impact me, so although she prides herself on very direct communication, I believe she tempers it for me somewhat. We do see one another 2-3 times per week and have for about 6 weeks now. She said a few reassuring words but concluded the appointment by reminding me my "call the hospital" limits. That, as a patient, feels very different than wrapping up an appointment with just a smile and a "See you on Friday!"

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So here's what we discovered today via my 19th ultrasound in two months:

1. The amniotic fluid, on my 14th day of Ibuprofen (the "ace" drug to keep preterm labor patients pregnant) has lowered to a point of almost too low - cut almost in half since the last scan. The implication of this news is that we might have to discontinue the Ibuprofen on Friday. It's the drug that *seeeeeeems* to have been the drug that has kept me out of the hospital for the last 15 days (which my wallet doesn't mind - the bills are flooding in) and kept the contractions at fewer than 4 per hour, my limit.

2. The cervical length is shorter. It can lengthen and shorten, but the trend over the last 10 days seems to show that shorter is the new length. My doctor is happy with anything over 2 cm, so 2.7 is technically fine, but 4 days ago it was 3.3 and a month ago it was closer to 4. I realize we are talking about millimeter changes, but when it changes a few mm per day, and I'm 7 mm from the unsafe, check into the Childbirth Center zone, those little mm don't seem so insignificant anymore.

3. There is some "beaking" now at the bottom of the amniotic sac/top of the cervix. What we are supposed to see is a big, round shape at the bottom of the uterus, at the opening of the cervix. What we saw today was a little triangle of the amniotic sac, "beaking" into the cervix. It really does look like a bird's beak. I have questions that (of course) I thought of on the drive home like "Can beaking fix itself?" and "How quickly can/does a beak cause the amniotic sac to break?" so to those I have no answers. My understanding is that the pressure of the bag of water on the beak and the cervix acts to pry it further open.

4. This is the news the doctor called me with when I got home from the appointment. The drugs and my naturally occurring hormones have wreaked havoc on my body's glucose levels and my insulin's ability to get the glucose processed. So I've been on a diabetic diet for 2 weeks now, watching my first-thing-in-the-morning glucose levels in particular. The post-food numbers are terrific but the wake-up numbers are still too high (because of the drugs and the gestational diabetes). So starting asap, I have to start injecting insulin in the evenings. This does not make me happy.

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I know in a year (or hopefully 13 or 14 months) I'll be planning a birthday party for a cute and sweet one year old, but for right now, it's scary and I'm worried. I'm exhausted from the day-to-day changes and new findings when I don't expect them - ie, when we're exchanging small talk during the ultrasound and the doctor says "Oh, the fluid is way down today." It's hard not to know if she'll be born in August (still a possibility, although shrinking), September (my guess), October (my OB thinks she'll almost certainly be out *by* early October), or November (her actual due date). That's 4 different birthstones as I'm shopping for my slice/push present. And I'll leave it right there! Updates on Friday or as they happen. Thanks for your interest in our family's well-being.

Happy Family!

LOTS to be thankful for, this summer, for the Sipe/Berglunds. Baby Sister Berglund is following closely in her brother's footsteps. She's trying to bust her way out early, just like Mr. Gavin did. OK... to be fair, it's not her fault. It's a really faulty uterus! It's not a very hospitable environment in there. At the hospital the other night, the nurses liked her "variability" of heartrates. They thought that her heart's range of beats per minute sounded slighty more mature than a typical 25-weeker. (Allow me these brags of my awesome daughter, OK? They reassure me - I've been trying hard not to be one of "those" moms that thinks that their kid is a frickin genius.) That was a nice comment to get, in light of having checked into the hospital 4 times in 4 weeks. Sister's contractions started at week 21. Gavin's started at 27 (well, I noticed the discomfort at 27 - who knows how long I was having them without noticing?) I had 4 weeks of "take it easy" status with Sister. I had none with Gavin. I have had 4 hospital check-ins with Sister. I had 7 with Gavin. With Sister, I am on bedrest now (and Doc says I will likely deliver early, but doesn't know how early). Gavin was 7 weeks early.

Gavin is getting closer to understanding about Sister. He raspberries her all the time now, (but he also raspberries Grandpa Glenn's baby, Daddy's baby, and anyone else who'll let him up their shirt) and when we tell him to tell Sister "good night" he kisses her. When we set aside the infant toys for Sister, Gavin had some nostalgia and grabbed out the plush dinosaur that Grace gave him. Now Dino's his nap buddy. It's funny how Dino's importance changed with the threat of ownership transfer. Silly Gavin!

So Bedrest begins today. I think I knew this was coming. I also think I am ready for it. I have the iPhone to keep me occupied, blogging, and some crocheting. My dad asked my 2nd cousin Vicky to finish up a blanket for Sister that my mom started for Gavin. I asked my aunt Beryl to make a quilt for Sister with some lovely prints that I found, knowing that I wouldn't be able to make her a quilt myself. I didn't watch Grey's Anatomy last year, saved the reruns of King Of Queens, and Dan just found reruns of one of the best shows of all time for me... Malcolm in the Middle. We have Netflix on demand, and plenty of movies for me to catch up on. Luckily, my sixth sense and my hyperactive type A personality mean that I am also ready to have Sister come on home and join us. I persuaded Dan to install the fir flooring patch where the old stairs were. He also insulated, wired, and sheetrocked that corner of the house as well. So her "room" (the corner of our bedroom) is done and ready to welcome her. Her dresser is even stocked full of beautiful and teeny tiny baby clothes, washed and ready to wear. Ha! It's like I knew this was coming...

A nice boy for the world

Gavin's Grandma Barb is really sick right now and soon will pass. So we're visiting as much as we can now, but being a toddler, he doesn't want to sit and relax! He wants to go up the stairs, down the stairs, go say "Hi!" to Grandma, go see the doggy, watch for birds, eat Chex, go say "Hi!" to Grandma again... It is sweet.
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Gavin picked up this photo and kissed it again and again and again today. On his own - no prompting. I'm so lucky to have such a nice boy. The world needs lots of those!

Left his heart in San Francisco!

After a million shots and rides down this slide, Dan captured a sweet slide photo of the happy slide boy! "Wheeeeeeeeee!" Gavin got to go visit cousins and auntie Jessie earlier in March! It was a weekend of many firsts: first flight, first overnight away from his own room, first time meeting a bunch of his cousins, first ocean experience! I think Gavin was a pretty fantastic traveler. I get it - people hate sitting by babies on planes and everyone gave us the evil glare/stare, from boarding to seating to the drink cart to de-boarding.
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So I have a few thoughts about traveling with a baby.
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1. A quiet baby doesn't equal a good traveler. How many times have I had to sit by the fat guy with bad breath that hogs the arm rest and won't shut up? A good traveler makes a semi-pleasant experience for their neighbors. So big guy, shut your pie hole, order a diet soda, give me back 1/2 ownership over the arm rest and brush your teeth. I'm not here to make friends. I don't care about your granddaughter or your political views. Here's some listerine. And judgemental passengers: If this kid cries a little, he's getting his needs met. Like: "Hey, what the heck is happening here? My ears hurt. Can you get me that bottle please?" or "Holy crap, I'm bored out of my mind. Can we get a little entertainment going on in here?" He doesn't have the social conditioning or the skills yet to ask in a less "annoying" way for his neighbors. I do regret your having to hear his misery, truly, but he's just expressing what we're all feeling and with my way overpacked bag of tricks to keep him happy, I'm on it... I'm keeping him as happy as I can. Big, loud, smelly, arm rest-hog guy should know better. Do I not also deserve a comfortable flight *every*single*other*time*I*fly???
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2. Help us out. Remember having a kid? Remember having all that crap to lug on board? Or for that matter, every-single-where you ever go? So help us out! We brought half of this crap for YOU people! For a 90 minute flight, we obviously don't need 3 flavors of fruit bar, applesauce, milk, back up milk, juice, an extra bottle just in case, videos, toys, a banana, pretzels, books, and 14 diapers. We had to check a bag for a SF trip for goodness' sake! Who does that!?! People who are trying to give their neighbors a nice flight, that's who. The least you can do is help us stow our crap. :) I'm just sayin. Don't stare with that "Oh god, a baby" look. Or do stare and then offer these harried parents some help. I'm not saying hold the child... I'm saying take the bag out of my hand and put it up! Thanks!
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3. Hey airline, bad job. You should've let a family with a toddler board in the first wave. I appreciate the stroller help (drive it up to the door and then there it is in SF! Sweet!) but preferential boarding sure would've been nice. Then maybe the overhead compartments would've been less hoarded by travelers who can't stomach the $25 check-bag-fee, and who can blame them? Hey, airline, bad job there too. $25 to check my bags? Each way? How dare you?
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So on a bright and shiny note, Gavin loved the Bay Area. He LOVED the sand at the beach and loved him some cousins. He really liked cousin Tim and enjoyed all the hill walking. He drank a teenie tiny mocha (chocolate sprinkled over steamed milk) at a coffee shop and tootled around China Town with his Dad. I think the pace of the city was fun for him! It'll probably be a while until we travel again. It was the most exhausting vacation we've ever taken. And next time there will be two of them!

Hey, who's reading this thing anyway?

Gavin's baby brother or sister is due on 11/2/10.

DAMN. I should've figured out how Blogspot worked before I posted this. I was just being a goof since Dan and I were talking about the blog, wondering who reads it. So I posted this and showed it to Dan, who laughed (yes!) and then I pulled it down. DUH! I guess you followers get a notification and so all at once, playgroup found out! Well, it wasn't my intention to share just yet! Now everyone from my beloved cousin Kristi to my high school buddy Alison all know! Haha - Oops! I was going to share after the end of the first trimester, since I'm so newly pregnant. Well, so far, so good. The morning sickness is as bad or slightly worse than with Gavin. The nausea is so extreme!! Apparently, it's in the water, because most of playgroup is looking forward to welcoming in baby #2! Gavin might even know... I don't know if this is coincidence or if he's intuitive, but he was curling up to me the other night and put his head on my tummy to snuggle. Those who know Gavin well know that this is a rarity! It was most likely a coincidence, but hey, a mom likes to think her son is sensitive!! We are teaching him to say "baby" and hope that by this weekend we can teach him to say it when we ask him, "What's in mommy's tummy?" so that he can tell his auntie Jessie that way! So far, he pulls his own shirt up and looks at his tummy when I ask him what's in mine. So in 31 weeks or so, Gavin will share toys, parents, clothes, a home, and his life with a brand new person! Lucky Gavin!

YOGURT!

Gavin, my independent toddler. He is getting really interested in feeding himself these days. Needless to say, we're doing a lot of laundry. His favorite things these days are finger foods (pretzel sticks, crackers, cereals) but this kid would eat yogurt every meal if we'd let him!
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He's so independent and SO opinionated/willful. It's like looking in a behavior mirror. For Dan, that is. His life is his way or the highway. I'm so glad. I like who he is and who he is becoming. He has a very joyful life and he is learning so much every day. Week to week, we can really see him growing up and changing. The thing that remains so constant is yogurt! He's changed beds (toddler bed now!); he turned 18 months old; he's a word explosion, every week with new words; and he gets crazy in new, funny ways, like when he crawled up on the coffee table at the baby shower - PARTY! But the kids eats darned yogurt morning, noon, and night. And now all by himself!!

Haircut. Growing up.

We cut his hair. Usually when parents say that, they mean that they paid $28 for someone else to cut their child's hair, they took some photos, and then their child turned out super cute.
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What I mean is that we (Dan and me) cut his hair. Yep, Dan pinned him down and I used my kitchen shears to cut the top first. He looked like Joe Dirt. Then I trimmed up the sides, but they kept turning out unevenly. So we kept cutting until the sides were quite short. And THEN, unfortunately, the curls looked ridiculous. They were pretty poofy and the top was super short. So... oh my gosh. So we totally cut those cute little curls. I'm still a little shocked.

Party like a toddler

At Zoya's "Baby's First Disco" Gavin partied hearty right up until time to sing Happy Birthday to Zoya, and after all of that crawling, talking, running, playing, climbing, and overall merriment, he just crashed right down, flat on his back among 25? 30? singers, and drank a bottle, all splayed out. I tried to get him to get involved with, you know, Zoya-as-center-of-attention, the song, the people, the cake, the candle... but nope. He was D-O-N-E done.
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I just don't know a lot of people who get quite so in tune with their own bodies as toddlers do. I love that he can plop down and satisy his fatigue and thirst, no matter whose birthday it is. I appreciate this about toddlers and I choose to emulate it. In all likliness, I won't throw (many) fits or hit my mom in the face like Gavin. But perhaps, the next time work wears me out, I'll just leave the planning for the next day and head home, to lay on the couch and ignore the birthday girl, so to speak, and meet my own needs first. In fact, this got me thinking a lot about how well Gavin practices self-care. I'm so jealous...
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In February, we celebrated baby AJ turning 1 at the Children's Museum in Everett. That place is amazing. Gavin got to draw on the glow-in-the-dark-painted walls with a light pen, climb up into a tree house, play in a water table with about 50 square feet of water activities and toys, and spent nearly an hour in the train table area. Gavin apparently loves trains at the following places: other people's homes; toy stores; children's museums; and waiting rooms. He apparently hates them at home. Santa brought him tons of trains this past Christmas and he couldn't be bothered. So Grandma packed them away with her Christmas decorations so that 'Santa' (wink wink) could bring them back and try again next year. Because toddlers know that if you don't feel like playing with trains, then shoot, you should toss them aside and play with the $.99 recorder that your Dad begged your Mom not to buy. Your Mom will just save the trains for later when you feel like playing with them. Life is too short to play with unwanted toys.
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At Ali's birthday at Gymboree, Gavin was mesmerized by bubbles. There must have been a thousand bubbles blown by the party leader. Gavin and I, after much recent over-workage and huge changes at home and at work, including lots less sleep, just stared in awe. And I wish we had more to report about that day but shoot - we slept in, we had coffee, we went to the party, came home and napped, and watched a movie. Just what the doctor ordered. That month of our lives was mostly spent staring at bubbles in complete awe. See? Toddlers know. When the body needs to just soak in life's wonders, all that's needed is a chance to stare at bubbles. The chance is out there - you just need to capture it!
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At Carlee's birthday in November, Gavin was an explorer. He toddled right out of the party room (cutting way into Mom and Dad's social time with other Moms and Dads...) and slinked right into the exercise room. He crawled up onto the treadmill. So Dan switched it on and helped him walk! Those two know how to party... And the lesson learned here is that when you're rested and eager, life's treadmills will find you. Your Dad will help you turn on the switch.
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So whatever your needs, think about what a toddler would do. Would a toddler stay late at work and miss family movie night? Hell no.

Typical blogger

Oh NO! I've gone the way of hack newbie bloggers. I started my blog for this darling baby and now that he's a brute, know-it-all toddler, I've completely abandoned my blog. I can't believe I lost over 6 months of random musings! Well, I am not Type-A'ing my life quite like I used to - before having Gavin I'd have rocked this blog! But in work, in mothering, in life, I just didn't get here. The thought was frequently there. Somehow I've made time for TV, chores, extra work, blurring the line between work and home, and excessive gardening planning. But my thoughts about raising this fun weirdo have been lost temporarily.

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Or have they? I keep a journal for Gavin - well, it's more like a long letter. I write to him in it all of the time. It's a way of journaling for me that doesn't feel too cheesy or self-important. It's just a letter to my son, after all. But at the rate I'm going, by the time he is 18 it'll be huge. Dan says it blog cheating to recreate dates in which I didn't keep an actual log. But I say the important thing is the collection of fun stories to keep our families and friends as current as they want to be via this blessing of the new millenium. What do you think? Is it blog cheating to fill in after the fact? Oh, well - I think I'll do it anyway!

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Enjoy